Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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