i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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