a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
