walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
how drunk are you?
Several
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
