Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
