Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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