Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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