Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
