I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you cant smoke seaweed
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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