Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
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I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
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She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
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