remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
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