There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
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she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
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I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.