Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night