I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
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Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
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I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.