so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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