Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
They should really pass out barf bags in church
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Randomize
