Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize