In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
