? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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