I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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