At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
