I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Randomize
