She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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