I bet he comes in French.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
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Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
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I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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