Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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