She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
