Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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