Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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