but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
