"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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