Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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