at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
