We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
