In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize