question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
