Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
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that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
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shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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