my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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