You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
