I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
