Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
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I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
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Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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