i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Panties = found
Randomize
