Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
