i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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