You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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