i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
