i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
