There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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