Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
