respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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