we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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