are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
