ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
