Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
