I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
