So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
