Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
