Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
