Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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