After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
