Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
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He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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