At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Operation Purity has been aborted
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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