the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize