I need help removing her.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
