don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
